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wat's up?
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about
claire
20 yrs old 9th dec cps.nygh.njcian.nus life sci drama fan outdoor gal beginner chef looking for a goal in life things i wanna do
steamboat go for a spin ride the singapore flyer a night stay in a local hotel dress up my hamsters wardrobe makeover Tagboard
Exits
graceshuning oac07-08 waikit ben hong mervyn jessie terence kaiting shangfei xiuwen ailin xiangjun kah han hsiangwei rachel nicole bernice jia yin doris yini archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
when i told my mum that i only drink 2 bottles of water a day to keep myself alive, she said that the lack of water would give me wrinkles. i am going to drink a bucket of water everyday from now on, even if it means dying from water poisoning. NO WRINKLES PLEASE!!! ><
the office is really empty and quiet now. everyone went for cny lunch. i am the only one left in the office. woohoo..that kind of explains why i am blogging now. that day at work, my buddy was sharing with me some stories about herself. after listening to them, i realise that she never really met any true friends. she was the type that only truly cared about her family and nothing else. to her, friends cannot be trusted. she doesnt chat with friends after work and when she had problems, she doesnt confide in them. i felt sorry for her because the friends she had made when she was in school treated her badly, which led to her being who she is today. and then i start thinking about myself. do i have someone to complain to? to confide in? to share gossips with? it didnt took me long to realise that my sis was that someone. i miss complaining to her. neither of us are at home from mon to fri. we only meet during the weekends when we return home. that is assuming that both of us dont have any commitments on sat or sun. and then i start thinking if i have any really really close friends that i share my darkest secrets with( not that i have any), or call her(most of my friends are girls) up anytime any day to chat for long hours because we have endless of stuff to complain about to each other, basically its like having a friend that is like a sister( just like in the story books and the tv dramas). i realise i dont have. i keep fantasizing about this perfect friend. but i dont think it happens in real life, at least not to me. recent events such as the 'successful birthday prank by oac' and 'loneliness in the office' made me realise that i cant live alone. without friends. i cant survive without them. with no one to talk to(even if we were just talking crap), my life would totally sucked. and then i start thinking about how i made friends with people. can you believe that on the first day of my jc life, i actually went up to strangers and said "hi i am claire. wat's your name? " followed by a series of questions, hoping to start a conversation through this and make a new friend. i had no idea i was so thicked-skin. sometimes i surprise myself with what i do. i dont like awkward silences. so most of the time, if possible, i will take my initiative to start a conversation. and so this made me wonder again. if i hadnt take the initiative to speak to others, does that mean that people wont speak to me? maybe people are not that interested in what i say. they are most probably nodding in agreement so as to save me some face. is it true? maybe people think that i talk too much and feel irritated. but they dont dare to voice their opinions because they are either being polite or they are just scared of me(many people tell me i look fierce when i dont smile). what exactly is everyone thinking about? what do they feel about me? how i wish i could be edward cullen. i would be able to hear everyone thoughts. that would be real cool. i've got 2 questions. do you consider a person as your best friend if you consider her as one but she may not consider you as her best friend or maybe you dont know if she considers you as one. can a person have more than 1 best friend? according to dictionary, best means only 1 right? i think making friends requires one to put in effort and sincerity. to make close friends, that would require affinity and a lot more effort and sincerity. it's hard work, but it's worthwhile. or perhaps pat was right, i think too much. all these thoughts are unecessary. a complete waste of time. and i should live for myself not for others, so i shouldnt really be too self conscious. if not my life would be meaningless right? yeah, i know that i should not think too much but a leopard doesnt change its spots. so i guess i will always be a worry wart. - feeling imaginative, blogging in the office at 1.58pm 'great news' haha yeah right. i cant believe it man. the oac cny dinner thing is completely messed up. i was so looking forward to the oac cny dinner. this morning, i decided to sms shu ning and ask if she was going to the dinner. to my surprise, she didnt know anything about it. she couldnt go because she had a dinner appoinment with her family. she could have gone for it if she had known about the dinner EARLIER. i was disappointed. the greater disappoinment came when i decided to sms the usual gang and a few others, to ask them if they were going. to my HORROR, many didnt know about it too. and they cant make it because of the late invitation. so who's not going? wai kit, mervyn, rachel, jessie, shu ning, jin xian, maybe ben hong and kah ho. and who's going? me, grace, lizhen, terence, char, kaiting and a bunch of seniors that i dont even know. thats pathetic. :( should i still look forward to the dinner? i have no idea. throughout the day, i receive smses from those i sent to... most smses were "i didnt know. sry i cant make it." in the end i received a whole day of disappointment. i cant believe i chose to go for this oac dinner and not my maternal grandfather's birthday celebration. it better be a worthwhile dinner. -feeling dejected, blogging at home @ 9.13pm brrr....it's really cold in the office. i am FREEZING. the worse part of this coldness is that my rashes are returning.. my hands are turning red and itchy. ahh.. i cant stand it anymore. tolerate! tolerate! tolerate! i seriously reckon i'm evolving into another animal soon. -.- posted @ 1.58pm yay, time seems to pass faster today.. it's lunchtime now:) i am like eating right in front of the office computer.. even though it's not allowed. but the boss is not around, so..haha anywae after working in the office for about 3 weeks, i notice many things. oh btw did i mention that i am getting my first 2 weeks pay today? there's not much to be excited about after minusing the cpf contribution.. i think i will only appreciate the usefulness of cpf when i am old (real old). ok, back to the first line of the 2nd para. in the corporate world, 1) IQ & EQ of a person is inversely proportionate. there are exceptions of course. 2) one cannot afford to be as gullible as claire. dont be fooled by people's appearance. 3) watch out for backstabbers, satellite dishes(gossip mongers), hypocrits 4) people are very calculative about things (eg.work hour, lunch hour etc) 5) people come up with different ways to skive 6) people are too lazy and inconsiderate. they like to be served. not everyone is like that though. these are some qualities i see in some people at my workplace. there are many nice people too. eg. me :) lol thats all so far.. back to my photocopying.. there's still a lot more to go... posted @ 12.46pm i finally have time to blog. great! the first day of chinese new year.. it was the same chinese new year routine. we do the same things, in the same sequence every year. lol we took family photos, have lunch together, visit relatives..but it was still wonderful because i get to meet my cousins and other relatives... i was exhausted by the time i reached home.. but when i counted the number of houses i went to, it wasnt much... my family isnt really big afterall. the second day, i woke up at 6 AM!!! to help my mum prepare food. for those who do not know, every year on the 2nd day of new year, my family will invite relatives for homecooked lunch at my grandparent's place. there's only two choices, you either eat beef noodles or fried rice. and so for the rest of the morning and early afternoon, i spent my time in the kitchen... it was fun though. thank goodness i didnt miss out on any red packets. i'm glad that everyone found the food tasty.. my mum is a good cook :) after lunch, i went to visit more relatives... erm.. i got to go zap some stuff now(actually i need to produce 3 exact copies of each of the 4 arch files given to me:()..so i hope i have time to continue this post again later... - feeling guilty, blogging in the office @ 10.25am Happy Chinese New Year!!! yesterday's reunion lunch was just terrific. it was really yummy :D so that officially starts the new year feasting season again... i seriously should start exercising... new year is also a red packet collecting season..haha.. i wonder how much money i will get in this depressing year of recession..even if its the same amount of money, due to inflaion, that 20 dollars now is of lesser value compared to a 20 dollars then.. but i guess its the thought that counts.. haha so dont get me wrong (coz i am not a money face!!!) last night, i didnt sleep well.. i had irritating dreams.. i dreamt that i didnt complete my economics paper and so my results are really crap. i really should try to chill a little. if not i will go crazy even before the results are out. how am i gonna survive?!?! anyway, here's wishing everyone a happy chinese new year! may everything goes smoothly for all...eg. the adults wont be retrenched, they will still have a stable income; the children do well in their studies; and everyone is blessed with good health and happiness always. lastly, please let the economy recover asap. i wonder how many times will i lao1 yu2 sheng1 this year? haha i am so looking forward to oac cny dinner :) i miss everyone loads have a great cny everyone! posted @ 7.49am Photos of dinner!  this is gonna be a short post. got to take a bath soon... woots! i finally finish springcleaning the house:) pat and i truly deserve a pat on our backs. the house is now spick and span...yay :D time really flies, i feel old. being 19th this year(though i have around 10 months to enjoy being 18th years old), my age next year will start with a number 2. thats scary. :X i definitely dont think i look like my age.( do i?) cant believe tomorrow is new year's eve... got to go now.. i hope i have time to post again later... *i want to buy more new year clothes!!! posted @ 12.07pm ok.. this is the last post before i hit the sack. i had a wonderful evening with jieying, shermomo and pat. i never knew that a simple dinner and a chat with them would brighten up my day that much (oh i meant night). we were busily updating each other on our lives...and everyone wanted to speak(i wonder who was listening..) the worklife of some seem to be really interesting, while others are extremely boring. but everyone had a different story to tell, different experiences to share. one thing we had in common was that all of us miss school days. we miss each other a LOT. oh jieying was very funny. at 9.30pm, her body automatically shuts down and she becomes a zombie. thats the time that she goes to bed everyday...so i guess NS is definitely not suitable for her cause she wont be able to wake up early. i'm sure the lack of sleep will make her grouchy and crazy. as if she werent crazy enough when she's awake..haha. we definitely must have another gathering soon, because i'm sure that lari would be very jealous when she sees the picutres posted on facebook. i bet she's dying to come too. oh crap, i better go to bed now because i have to wake up early to do springcleaning. the house always appears to be so huge when i need to mop the floor. there's too much surface area..:X i hope i can sleep soundly tonight zzzzzz ( i meant this morning). posted @ 12.42am this is gonna be a short one...cause my lunchtime is almost up.. i am so looking forward to tonight's dinner :) i'm sure pat feels the same too. We've invited jieying and shermin to our house for homecooked dinner prepared by claire. sounds great? its a pity lari couldnt make it, i guess we'll have another gathering soon to make up for that. :D posted @ 1.20pm so far so good. i have been able to make my blog look more decent thanks to the help from my little sis. the html thing is just confusing and tedious. the only thing i can remember from my sec 2 html lesson is br..thats kind of pathetic isnt it... the lack of practice leads to the erosion of skills. that sorts of explain my current fear. being stuck at work 5 days a week, not using any part of my brain, except for the medulla oblongata (that deals with involuntary actions such as breathing and blood pressure), i wont be surprised to find myself turning stupid or retarded when university starts. ok thats assuming i do well enough to get into uni...-.- oh no.. :X my brain is rusting by the minute... posted @ 12.00pm due to recent events, i appreciate my surroundings(people,things,etc.) a lot MORE 1. singapore's hot weather 2. family and friends 3. the orderly traffic in S'pore 4. the clean environment in S'pore 5. the technology, electricity, clean water available in S'pore 6. local food 7. school uniforms 8. school life (study&play) 9. being a student (entitled to cheaper bus fares, student meals) 10. having everything paid for by my dad posted @ 1.17pm just as i expected, i need to be more diligent in posting regularly. anyway, i started my day off feeling irritated, thanks to my handphone. it decided to suffer from a stroke. the result- half paralysed(the calling buttons are all spoilt; which means i cant use my phone to call or receive calls... and smsing became a chore becoz the cancel button is spoilt too.) and so my phone is now useless becoz two of its main funtion(call&sms) is faulty. how wonderful is that :X to make things worse, chinese new year is coming and so the service centre wont be open till after new year. not to mention the huge crowd that will be at the service centre when the centre resume operations after holiday. this is just dreadful. :X moving on to something which is happier... i woke up today feeling really blessed and fortunate. this is most probably becoz of a recent event that happen to me..... the best way to experience independent living is to stay in a boarding school. but since doing that is absolutely ridiculous and economically infeasible, i decided to move to my grandma's house instead. oh besides that, pat is staying at my grandma's house for the time being too, as a tenant. which means the two of us are housemates living by ourselves in an old mansionette. :) Everyday, we have to do housework, prepare dinner(i cook. dont be surprised)..etc, basically it means DO EVERYTHING BY YOURSELF! BECAUSE NO ONE IS THERE TO SERVE YOU! lol... when i go home(grandma's house) everyday, tired after a day of work, it can be quite disappointing to know that there are no family members waiting for me at home...perhaps that's what you call loneliness... -.- as a result, weekends are now my favourite days of the week becoz i get to go back to my house and be with my family members.. yay:) you might find me stupid to do all this, why suffer when you can enjoy being a princess at home?haha. but without this experience, i would not know how important my family is to me, how much i treasure and appreciate them. i guess this is part of growing up, a journey of self discovery:) conclusion: i really love my family :) posted @ 10.36am Hi everyone, i cant believe i managed to convince myself to start a new blog. for those who do not know, i had a blog which was stagnant for years... its the hassle of looking for a new blogskin and the regular updates that turns me off. but since so many things have happen to me lately, the latest being 'the start of independent living', i thought it would be interesting to keep a record of these events. so here i am with my first post, hoping that this will not be the last post. there's still a lot of things to do before my blog will look decent.(eg.blogskin,tagboard...more posts) :) posted @ 12.16pm |