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wat's up?
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about
claire
20 yrs old 9th dec cps.nygh.njcian.nus life sci drama fan outdoor gal beginner chef looking for a goal in life things i wanna do
steamboat go for a spin ride the singapore flyer a night stay in a local hotel dress up my hamsters wardrobe makeover Tagboard
Exits
graceshuning oac07-08 waikit ben hong mervyn jessie terence kaiting shangfei xiuwen ailin xiangjun kah han hsiangwei rachel nicole bernice jia yin doris yini archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
Friday was a bad day. it turned out to be a really really awful day. it just totally suc. The tension, the stress before the collection of the results. that is a sucky feeling. i hate that. not to mention hearing familiar names being called out. it was like dejavu. the situation feels like the time when i collected my o level results. but this time, i was a lot more prepared for crap results. i guess when you expect crap results, and get crap results, you wont feel that sad. and true enough i didnt feel that sad. at least at the start, the moment i knew my results. i was only overwhelmed by disappoinment when my grandfather called me. When i think about the hopes they have for me. the fact that i couldnt beat my cousin's score, the fact that everyone did well except me. the fact that many doors are shut, the fact that i dont have fabulous portfolio...the fact that over the years there was no value added to my studies at all, the fact that i dont know how i benefited from jc life, and the fact that i am probably just plain stupid.... that kindof of sums up what i am feeling when my family members call me. i think u can imagine what happen next. i must clarify a point though, crying is just not my style. and of course i wasnt that silly to commit suicide(that is such a stupid act.), if not i wouldnt be here blogging in the office. After some time, i came to accept my results. i had to anyway, you seriously wont think that i will cry day and night just because of my results right? but i just didnt feel like going home. so i went out with some friends. Eating and chatting helped me feel better. i think i was trying to avoid reality. as in what am i going to do from now on? uni applications, more disappoinments because i cant get in to whatever course i want...etc. i need time. to think. about my life. can someone stop the time now? it's moving too fast. i dont know what lies ahead in my life or how my life will turn out. but i am sure of one thing. it's going to be a bumpy ride from now on.. cause i dont think i have the good fortune or luck to lead a smooth-sailing life. i'm gonna cross my fingers for now, so wish me luck. -posted @ 9.03am |