but i need to empty my thoughts. even the radio is talking abt emo topics like: how do u define happiness.. and they just played mayday's song: u're not truly happy. T_T

anyway, someone made a comment about me.. and that got me started thinking about what impression i'm leaving on my friends or to strangers. on my way back home, that super long walk back... i cant help but think about what my other friends have said about me before(i kind of let my imagination run wild)...is there anyone that can tell me straight in my face what kind of person do i appear to be? do i appear to be angsty(i realise there's no such word in dictionary)? too direct? is too direct good? or has my directness turned into plain rudeness? are people irritated by my nagging or complaints? do i appear to be a very unhappy person? [i'm really not kaes.]

but if someone were to really point out my mistakes... and tell me how i should improve to be a better person or perhaps a better friend to others, would i listen? this is so complex. relationships between people are so hard to understand.

right now, i feel like a rotten friend. cause xue en's gonna leave for cambridge on tues.. but i cant even meet her before she leaves. we kept postponing the meet up... and now it's too late.. :(

have i mentioned this b4? (i have really bad memory)that i've always wondered whether anyone would detect my presence if i wasnt around. and that i've always feared that if i never take the initiative to start a conversation, no one will talk to me. and that if i dont suggest to meet up, no one would ask me out. aarh. this sucs. depressing ttm. what is this man? mid life crisis ah?!

there's one thing i'm dead certain, i care too much about what others think.

how i wish i had pat's great listening ear, lari's appreciativeness, xw's demureness, yili's sincerity, sf's sense of humor, xj's sweetness, mk's innocence, jy's kindness, shermin's smiliness, grace's guts...

hmmph. i guess it's gonna be a better day tmr.

i hope i haven made u too emo. :X

blame the emo songs for making me super emo.

the last line is so true.